I Hate You... That's All I Got

I'm laying here with skin under my nails from grabbing and clawing my face in frustration!! People are naturally stupid! It makes me so angry that people are so ducking lazy now days. 

This girl is writing on FB asking me if #1 I can make a cake in Nov. Um yes, I've been in business for 3 years now because I have every day of every month available!! 

#2 Can you make a Team's Football cake? Um yes bitch I have done at least 3 cakes that are on my ducking page you just ducking wrote me on (imagine me yelling that because I totally did!!) 

#3 She askes me if my name Teresa!!! All of my ducking information is written on the ducking page you are writing me from (yelling and peeling my face off in hatred and annoyance!!) Needless to say my name is not Teresa.

**deep breath**

You Got Skills But...

So, I'm gonna need you put on your pissed off pants for me before you start reading this! It's so ridiculous that we all just have to start off mad together.

I just received a picture of this message from a fellow BB that was taken through her FB messenger...

Customer: My daughter is turning 17 on Sept 14th and I wanted to order a Samsung Galaxy themed cake, are you available? 

Fellow BB: How many servings?

Customer: 10-15

Fellow BB: Depending on the final level of detail you are looking at at least $75

Customer: Ok. Also, if possible, can you tell me if the cake mix is homemade? Not to take anything away from your skills, you truly have beautiful work. However, I would like for the cake mix to be Duncan Hines (yellow). I can actually purchase how many boxes would be needed if possible.

Fellow BB: I only bake from scratch.

Customer: Ok, I'll let you know.

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BB's Final Thoughts:

Are you ducking kidding me! I personally know this baker and have eaten her cake on several occasions and its "slap yo momma" delicious!! Like sitting on your couch in your granny panties curled up in a blanket watching Steel Magnolia's good! Ok!! So now that I've cleared that up...

If you contact a CUSTOM Caker who has been in business for years and tell her to trade her real butter and delicious, fine ingredients for preservatives and powdery whatever it is... Who can ever open those bags by hand either. I'd like to meet you, those things are impossible to open... Anyways, all that aside to move to the next point... So, if she somehow agreed to make your mix, why would the customer need to purchase the boxes. It's like a dollar a box, does she think that there's an up charge of $5 for a $1 box of cake. My mind is blown in so many ways that I just have no words anymore!!

Oh...ok...oh...

Hcthbvddysgvjxgshfkcjxhsvhzh nxhzgfchzgsAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

My need to release above!!

Anyways, I've actually had a pretty idiot free time lately until my phone rang 2 days ago.

Earlier in the year I made a 6" round cake with a rice cereal sculpted Minnie Mouse that sat/hung off the cake. Very time consuming to say the least. One of those that right in the middle of the 3rd hour of working on it you get mad and say you should have charged more!

Fast forward to 2 days ago... This idiot called me and said "uh, ummm, how much for dat Minnie Mouse topper I want to buy just dat Minnie Mouse."

Me with Hatred and a murderous tone, "I'm sorry, but I won't sell just the Minnie Mouse you would have to order the whole cake."

Her: "oh...umm...ok... How much dat whole cake is?"

Me: "$90+ tax."

Her: "oh.... Ummmm... Ok..... Long silence... *click*

___________________________

Son of a Bitch!!! What a ducking idiot!! Yes, I'll sell you the Minnie Mouse topper for you to place on your $20 sheet cake because my time has no value. Why, WHY would she think that I would even do that! DUCK!!! I seriously hate her! $500 is what I charge for the topper... Cash or credit?

I'm A Little Teapot...

This just happened to my mom last night, yes Mother Bitchy Baker... Uh oh!

My phone rang at 11:15 last night and woke me up. Some psycho left me a message that her cake lady reneged on her and wanted me to make her a teapot cake for Saturday!  This bitchy baker will not be calling her back for several reasons!!

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Daughter BB's Final Thoughts:

Don't be calling somebody at all times of the night because you think your sudden lack of a cake is an emergency to all caker's of the world. Like there's some giant red button that we push and we all hop out of the bed, throw on our magical aprons, and meet around a giant round table to discuss your world ending! You just get a big ole' Duck You, you should've called the right baker from the get! 

Bazinga!!

BooBoo Lovely Lumps

I'm not lying when I say that I copied and pasted this exact message, I changed nothing. Be warned...

wanted to know how much will u charge for a bubble guppies tier cake

_______________

I seriously don't know where to start on this one. Hmmm... I think... The fact that she's missing the subject of the sentence will be a good starter. Who the hell wanted to know how much "u" will charge? It can't be you because I don't even know your real name. You think you're so cute and creative because you have some ridiculous name like BooBoo Lovely Lumps. Which brings me my second point of why the letter "u" charges to make cakes? Was is that physically painful to take the extra time to add a subject, full pronouns, punctuation, or to even make sense? What's a bubble guppies tier cake anyway. I mean a cake is a tier so yes, I can make a cake that's why you contacted me in the first place. If you mean can I make a 2 tiered Bubble Guppies cake the answer is... Yes dumb ass!! You just wrote me from my FB page where I have over 300 amazing cakes... But gosh, I just don't think I have it in me to make a Bubble Guppies cake, it's just too hard.

Go back to school, learn how to write... And use the name your momma gave you. Unless, that is your real name then I'll totally do your cake for free and shoot your mom for you. I'm sorry, she should have known better.

Fish It Out Now Bitch!

This is from a Bitchy Baker who happens to be a close friend! She has been doing cakes for awhile, but just recently decided to officially start her business. She shared her story with this bitchy baker so lets just say there was lots of bitchyness to go around...

Getting a order for a cake months in advance is always nice, it gives you plenty of time! Especially when your going on vacation. So, I let the customer know that her order is my first available date because I will be back from vacation 4 days prior. So, I'm back from vacation and start the details immediately because I don't have much time. Progress is going well. My daughter's birthday is the same day as the delivery so I decide instead of making her a custom cake like I normally would I would buy her an ice cream cake to focus all my attention on my order. I get an email from the customer stating that the party has been canceled but can she move the delivery time up 24 hours. CRAP! Well suuure cause I don't have a full time job, your cake, and my life to deal with! But yeah, no prob! Oh, and I go out of my way to ask her if she would like to cancel or change the order. I tell her  that it would be fine if she needed to because of the canceled party (I don't normally do that but felt considerate). She says no, she wants the order, just sooner. OK! I finish the cake and drive to meet her for delivery. I'm super excited because the cake turned out great! I speak with her and she says she's on her way. I get to the meeting place at the agreed time...No customer.  I text, I call... nothing. Just to be clear, I heard JACK SHIT! I wait 45 minutes before going home. I'm soooo upset and not sure what to do! But after 6 hours I text her a picture of the cake and tell her how upset I am. An hour later her husband calls! Apologizing up and down telling me a sob story and asking me to meet him the next day so he can get the cake. I agree, go to the same meeting place at the time he chose... 45mins later... nothing. 

Duck your had to have it early, sick joke excuse, no show, waste of my time bitches! Your cake is at the bottom of the ducking river!

So, please don't ask me why you have to pay up front from now on, call this bitch and ask her!

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BB's Final Thoughts:

KaBOOM!! Haha!

I'm So Honored!

Seriously! Just got this email from this bride who I've been talking back and forth with about doing her wedding cakes. We have discussed sizing, pricing and design for both cakes. Well, a month goes by and this was her email to me yesterday... By the way her wedding isn't until summer next year.

BB,

 

I am still interested in considering you to do our wedding cakes.  Do you host complimentary cake tastings? If so, I like to schedule a consult.

 

thanks,

_________________________

Oh really! Well, I declare Miss Bride how honored I am to be considered to make your cakes. Why, let me just mosey on down and fix you up some of my finest samples and there will be no considering after that. Is there anything else I can do for you to make me the top runner... How about I just make your sweet little cakes for free, would that settle it for you? It would!! Well bless my soul! I'm just so honored and excited to be the one to make your cakes! Bless you child for making my life complete!!

That's Just Gross

So, I just have to post one of my weird quirks again about caking. Hopefully someone out there agrees. 

Pregnant Belly Cakes Ahhhhh!!! I just think this is one of the most terrible cake ideas ever. Why, why, why?!

Top 3 Reasons why they freak me out...

3. Who wants a headless, legless, armless body in a cute summer dress laying on their beautifully decorated table. I mean how is a body supposed to survive without a head?

2. That freaky foot that's actually the size of a 1 year old's poking out of the stomach like its about to rip through and kick you in the face!

1. The biggest reason... You are SLICING into a stomach and eating it! Nobody else realizes this?!?! You are ripping open the sweet summer dress, slicing the giant adult baby foot, and cutting into the uterus!! 

Anyone else freaked out by this! I have not done one of these and pray I never have to! 

Moment of silence for all the pregnant torsos' that have been consumed...

Mine's Better

I once had a potential bride order a red velvet cake from me for her birthday. Just an iced red velvet cake, no decorations. I don't normally do that but she wanted to taste my red velvet and didn't want to pay for a full decorated cake. I agreed knowing for sure she would book me after the first bite because my red velvet is eye rolling good! After I met with her to give her the cake she told me she would call me once she tasted it.

A few hours later my phone rings...

With a big smile on my face, "HI!"

Her: "Hey, um the cake was ok... But I like mine better."

Me: "Oh, ok... Well..."

Her interrupting my shock, "I mean it tastes good, but I can't taste the cocoa powder."

Me: "Well, you really shouldn't be able to taste the cocoa powder because there's only a teaspoon in it."

Her: "I can taste the cocoa powder in mine when I make it."

Me: "You must have some super tastes buds because there's only a tiny amount for the whole recipe!"

Her: "Thats what makes a red velvet cake a red velvet cake... The cocoa powder!"

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My Final Thoughts:

I hate you... Yes, you and your super human taste buds! You are a ducking idiot! What makes a red velvet cake... Ducking RED food coloring bitch!! That's the ingredient you're thinking of!

Good luck making you're own wedding cake since your red velvet cake is so ducking delicious and obviously each ingredient stands out in every bite. Yum, that bite tastes like flour and ohhh this one was especially delicious am I tasting the salt, raw eggs, and baking soda with a finishing note of... Hmmmm ohh yes, the velvety part of this cake - vinegar. Idiot!

That The Best You Can Do?

Well, wedding season is upon us so my posts have been less frequent, my apologies. BUT, that doesn't mean the idiocy has stopped or the bitchyness has been cured!!

I received a call from a woman asking me to make a simple bridal shower cake for the middle of the week with only 6 days notice. Because it was a slow week, I reluctantly agreed with the words simple, easy cake giving me a little ease. I wait patiently for the email of the oh so simple cake and then when my phone chirped... Oh yes, I usually consider a 4 tier draped wedding cake with piping, pearls and sashes a ducking breeze! What the hell!

Ok... So I write back with... "uh that's a 4 tier wedding cake serving about 130 people and about $800. How many do you need to serve?"

"About 100."

-Seriously y'all, I was like what kind of "Bridal Shower" is this?!

So after more back and forth I still agree to the cake but in a 3 tier version. So I tell her the new price.

Well, then her mom calls me and says..."I heard you're doing a cake for us. I also heard the price and was wondering if you could do better than that?"

______________________________

Do I really need to continue this portion of my blogging or do y'all know me enough by now.... Mother ducker!! Are you kidding me! I'm sorry, could you do better than only 6 days notice!!

You know what, I'll let ya'll be creative on this one, what would y'all say if this happened to you?

24 Hour Cakery... Bitch Please!!

Ohhhhhhhh!!!!

*Deep Breath* ... Inhale... Exhale....

It is 10:26pm and this BB is pissed!! I just received this super informative email:

comments= Please give me a call. I
need a wedding.

groom's cake for April
21, 2013. Thanks'!

I just copy and pasted this exactly like it was sent to me, spacing and all! I think she's trying to communicate to me but I'm just not sure.

Ok, I'll let you slide with a deep breath and an eye roll. BUT THEN, bitch gonna send me a duckin text message at 10:20 at night!!! Oh mother ducking hell no!! Bitch I ain't no 24 hour cake business! You just spent all that time, well not a lot of intelligent time, sending me an email and text pleading for me to call your sorry self because for some reason this life changing day of wedded bliss has snuck up on you! Your time is better spent not totally pissing me off with your inconsideration for my personal life and my family outside of my caking. Why it hit you at 10:20 at night and you thought, "shit I gotta handle this right this second" rather than waiting until the ducking next day to pick up your phone and call me! Also, why are you contacting me in every way other than the way you are asking me to contact you!

Ohhhhhh!!!

_________________

The love of a husband is deep I tell you! He has truly seen me at my worst at times dealing with these people. Arms flailing, spilt flying, cussing like a maniac. He just smiles and we say, "The Bitchy Baker is gonna post tonight!" Amen!

Why I Gotta Pay Before?

Soooooo, this is the first time this has happened to me and I'm pretty sure it won't be the last grrrrr...

I'm meeting for a consult on a wedding that is less than a month away. My contract states that the full amount of the wedding cake must be paid a month before the wedding. This bride had had some bad luck so that's why this is all being planned last minute. I offer her a few more days after our consult to gather the funds for the cake. During the consult, that by the way took way too long being as we had already discussed everything except flavors, her mother in law chimed in as she was reading the contract,

"Hold up, we gotta pay for dis cake BEFORE we see it!"

My extremely shocked and pissed reaction, "Uh yes, how am I to know that you'll even pay me once I've already made your $500 cake?"

Her: "Well how we gonna know we like the cake!!"

...........(long pause to regain composure and violent thoughts)...

______________________

You mother duckin son of a bitch!! What do you mean! You've seen my cakes, you have now tasted my ducking delicious cake, and you gave me a picture of the exact cake you want... What the duck is not to like?! Bitch better back away slowly!

Do you go to the grocery store and say yeah, I really love steak and I've bought your brand before and it was delicious, but this particular steak I haven't eatin it yet so I'm gonna go home and cook it and if I like it, I'll come back and pay for it...

Uh hell no... Bitch betta give me my money now and I'll think about making her cake or not ... seeing as I haven't made that design yet and I may decide that I don't like your ugly cake and THEN I might give you your money back minus an aggravation fee and that's putting it nicely!

Not Interested!

I started this blog as a fun release for us bakers and so far everyone has been very encouraging and supportive! But there have been a few who have been rude and negative and that's not gonna fly with this Bitchy Baker! It's people like them who we end up writing about. Negative people who take the time to respond to my email just to be rude.

"I want no affiliation with your blog what so ever!"

"Don't contact me again!"

Really! Duck you! If you aren't interested, just delete my email and move on with your life! Seriously!! Honestly, its supposed to be fun! If you don't want to share your stories, totally fine. You can just read and laugh along or never visit at all. There's no point in being hurtful and discouraging! I realize we need all types to make the world go round but I think we can do without your kind!

Sorry fellow BB's I needed to get that off my chest!

I See $125

Oh this story had me so mad on behalf of my fellow Bitchy Baker. It's crazy to me that all of your shared stories get me just as angry as if it happened to me! We Bitchy Bakers have to stick together :-)

So, one of my BB's emailed me this conversation between her and this arrogant bitch...

She attached a picture of a very detailed carved animal cake that was perfectly done that she wanted this BB to replicate with only a weeks notice.

She tells her that she is available and that that particular cake would be $250+ tax, but that she would have to pay the deposit by the next day since she requires at least 7 days notice.

This was her reply... I don't think you are ready for this... go ahead and get your angry face on...I'm serious, do it...

$250? REALLY? I was thinking $125, where are you seeing $250?

Oh Shit, Bitch Betta Run!

______________________________________________

BB's Final thoughts as well as the rest of the cake baking world:

I'm glad she sees $125 I wonder what she'll see when I punch her in the mouth... "Oh, I saw a hi-5! Shit my tooth fell out!!" 
That's right bitch! Now you wanna pay my price!! Haha

I Am Groom, Hear Me Roar!

This is from a fellow Bitchy Baker:

My least favorite couple, as I recall, contacted me to set up a cake tasting. They wanted to taste several specialty cakes that I make from scratch and other cakes with out of season fruits in them.  Trying to be as accommodating as I could, I made several of the cake samples for them, but not all of their requests.

When the time for the tasting came about, the groom showed up early, to inform me that the bride would be along eventually, and the he and I should start talking about the wedding info now. He proceeded to grill me about my background, where I had gone to school, where I lived, and any number of unrelated items that were none of his business, and had nothing to do with his wedding.  I finally told him that I didn't usually go into my own background that much with anyone, and that I had a college degree as well as pastry chef credentials, so lets talk about the cake. 

After the bride finally arrived, they tasted the cake, he asked me dozens of questions about the cake samples, then went through my cake pictures and (he) selected a design with 8 or 9 individual cakes on free standing cake stands at different heights, with elaborate supports.  He was a recent business graduate from a little community college with no credibility, and was out to prove to his fiancé that he was tough. He asked me if I charged for delivery, and I said I did, so he said he would set the cake up himself (even though he never saw a wedding cake in person, and knew nothing about setting one up). He then complained about the contract, and scoffed when I told him the cake had to be paid for in full several weeks before the wedding. After the tasting, as I was about to leave, the bride took me aside and said,"He's just trying to be a good businessman." When I got back to my bakery, I emailed the bride that I would not be able to do their cake, and would mail them back the deposit check. 

Making and delivering wedding cakes is difficult enough without having to deal with people like that.  There isn't enough money in the world to induce me to make a cake for loonies like that.

___________________________________________________

BB's Final Thoughts:

AMEN and smart choice!! It is so ridiculous that he felt he had to prove his manhood at a time like this. Your wedding is a time to be enjoyed not broken down like a serious business decision. If he really was a smart business man, than he should have appreciated that this BB had her shit together. Having a contract and asking for payment BEFORE the event are all great business on her part! Who the hell would make a $1,000+ order and not have payment before... you don't have to go to business school to know that shit asshole!

Oh No She Didn't!

As I mentioned before, my mom is a baker as well. She just received a very detailed email from a bride about her cake and all her "special" requests. The funny thing was... it was meant for another baker in the area! What's crazy to me, is that this idiot bride had to actually type in her email address in and then in the message part put the other bakers name. What the duck!!

So in the email she actually said to whoever the email was truly meant for... "I don't want my cake to be dry, are your's dry?"

   --BB thought inserted here: Uh yes, they are super dry, that's why I'm still in business today after years of cake making and the amazing reputation that I've built for myself as one of the top bakers in the area, because my cakes are dry bitch!

Anyways, my mom decides to respond to the email. Well, she actually wrote a few emails and had to erase most of them as they were not G rated.

So, she responds with I'm sorry I'm booked but you might want to check with ... (the baker that was listed in the message).

So she responds, "Oh, ok I sent the message to both of you"

__________________________________________________

BB's Final Thoughts:

Oh no she didn't!! She not only offends her by asking such a dumb question as "are your cakes dry" but she doesn't even take the time to send 2 separate emails! I think she and that other baker should have sent a mass email to all the bakers in the area warning them about this girl so that they all could have been booked! Eat that dry cake bitch!

I'm Lost

Ring ring ...

Caller: Yea, where are you at I'm trying to find u?

Well, I work by appt only.

Caller: I want to come taste cakes cause I want my baby shower cake.

How many servings?

Caller: 10-15 servings

I'm sorry I only do consults for wedding cakes or orders over $300 as I am a private baker and would never be able to get my orders done if that weren't the case.

Caller: I still wanna come talk to you, give me your address.

You can come by this afternoon at 4 and I'll have to give you directions because GPS will not work.

Caller: Well I'm not good with directions.

Well, if you write them down can you be good with them?

Caller: I'll call u back

WTH!!!!!! Hate her

_______________________________

BB's Final Thoughts,

Being as you believe the world totally revolves around you and your fetus, by all means come and interrupt her day to talk about the smallest cake she probably makes. Which I'm sure you will think is too expensive. So, I went ahead and programmed this GPS with the address to our local Walmart. Best wishes and congrats on the new baby, I hope you can find your way to the hospital!

50/50 Chance

Oh, the infamous billboard face that some might say I was blessed and cursed with...

When I meet my brides for consults, I have a consult sheet that I fill out with all the information of the wedding such as date, venue, style of cake etc as I am sure most of you do. Well, we get down to the flavor portion of what she would like for her cake and her mother said, "You do know that we aren't necessarily going with you!"

Total shut down... get the duck outta my sight bitch, I hate you! Yes, I'm not an idiot. I know that when I meet with my brides, that I might not necessarily be the one that you choose, but to spit that comment at me like that, it's a waste of my time. I'm sorry I am being detail oriented and asking all the questions I need to ask so that when you do decide to book me, I don't have to deal with your dumb ass self again because I will have all the information I need to make your cake. As a matter of fact, you can take your ugly ass cake with no personality, creativity, or vision to the grocery store bakery and enjoy, because I won't necessarily be making your cake!!!

This Isn't the 1920's

My heart hurts for her...

Yesterday afternoon I get a call from a lady she tells me they are throwing a huge party for her grandsons 1^st birthday.  She will need 12 separate cakes for the event and they will all be 3-D cakes.  And she needs them for March the 9^th.  Ok, first off today is Feb. 25^th so you are not even giving me 2 weeks notice and of course I don’t have any other cakes booked for that week…. NOT! Anyway, I am thinking in my head if I get my daughters to come help we can pull this off and it will be some good money.  So I tell her to send me pictures of the cakes she has in mind and details of how many people she needs to serve and I would work up a quote.  So she then tells me that servings are not a factor she just wants it for the WOW factor and the main cake needs to be the largest the other cakes can be small just make them as large as you have to, to get them done. So, I get the pictures. The main cake is a 3 tiered circus themed cake with the bottom tier being a bag of spilt popcorn, the middle being 3 rolls of tickets off set, and finally the top being a circus tent.  The rest of the cakes, well lets just say were all 3-D sculpted cakes. There was a bobble head cake, a clown sitting up, a teddy bear sitting up holding a sign that said G Ma’s snuggle bear (how sweet huh!)  Let’s see then we have a sports themed one with a basketball, football and a baseball on the top.  A 3D # 1 standing up, a box of animal cookies with very ornate animals coming out of the box,  A very ornate crown with a fur looking trim around it.  A Jordan shoe and shoe box, some baby blocks with the baby’s name spelled out which is 9 letters by the way, so that is 9 separate blocks. When I see these first off I am thinking this is going to be some good money then I am thinking really! She wants all these cakes and she gives me a week as this week is booked with cakes and I can’t work on anything this week. Then, I realize this is not 12 cakes so I ask her and then I find out that she counted the 3 tier as 3 separate cakes… LOL  So last night  it took me over an hour to download and decipher all her notes as to all the changes on each cake because of course none of them are grand enough for what she wants… This morning, first thing, I start getting phone calls and text messages asking me if I received the pictures because she did not get a total yet.  I told her no, I was working on it and I had to go to the hardware store to price a few things for the support structures.  She tells me she wants to get a check out to me today for the deposit and I told her I would get back to her ASAP with a detailed quote.  She sends me yet another text and tells me to make sure and add a delivery charge.  I ask where it is going to be delivered she tells me and that’s an added 50.00 for the delivery.  Then, I get a message back from her that says... I don’t want to spend over $135.00. 

I really wanted to respond back to her… B**ch you owe me that much for the time I spent looking at your damn pictures and answering your damn text messages.  Now I should have asked up front what her budget was but in my defense someone who wants 10 very detailed and 3D cakes should just know she is going to spend more that 135 freaking dollars!!!!!!!!!!!! Average that out DUMB ASS that’s 13.50 a cake….  I hate people that waste my damn time!


Kranky as HELL Cake Lady

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BB's Final Thoughts:

Awe Hell! This has to be the most ridiculous story I have heard so far! $13.50 per cake! First off, what kind of deposit did she have in mind for $135 order, $11.50? Plus, was that $135 including the delivery fee? If so, then she was expecting to pay $8.50 for each cake. I honestly am speechless at this point! Except for a duck you and head on back to the 1920's and buy your cakes for a quarter because obviously you are not living in the world today!

Dislike?!

This is from a fellow Bitchy Baker who unfortunately had stay professional throughout this infuriating conversation over email. I can't even wait until the final thought portion of this post to express my feelings on this one...

Client: Do you have a payment plan for your cakes?!
(BB: So, based on your punctuation, this is a rhetorical question?!)

Fellow BB: 
Hello, 
At the time of order, 50% of your total cost needs to be paid.  The other 50% is due when you pick it up.  You can make payments however you want after the deposit is paid, as long as the balance is paid in full when you pick it up. For example, if your total is $300, you must pay $150 to order it.  The remaining $150 can be paid in increments whenever you want, as long as it's paid in full when you pick it up.

Client: How much do baby shower cakes run?! 
(Again, a rhetorical question?! Seriously! How much do baby shower cakes run! Well, lets see... duck you! Really?! <--- Proper usage by the way.

Fellow BB: It depends on your design.
(I like your tone here, I can totally feel it hehe)

Client: Can you help me figure out something different and unique.. I dislike being like other people.. 
(BB: Oh you dislike being like other people... Now you are being proper?! <-- BOOM! Oh and by the way, let her take the time to hold your hand through this process because she has nothing else to do AND who is to say that you are actually going to really even order from her, but by all means... we dislike to disappoint.

Fellow BB: You will need to call the shop to schedule an appointment for a design consultation.  When you come, you need to have an idea of what you're looking for.  You can bring photos or other visual aids.  Make sure you have a budget set and all the info we'll need to know to create the cake.

Client: Ok how soon do I need to do this?! My baby shower won't be until September but I know for a fact that I want you to do my cake.
(Ohhhhhhh dear! I guess I will have to hold off on that answer until you actually decide to ask me the official question.)

BB's Final Thoughts:

Nothing but pure dislike for you.

I'm Getting Married One Day...

DEAR BITCHY BAKER . . .

Bride on the phone:

"Hi. I'm getting married in 2014. I don't have an exact date yet, but I'm thinking September or October (2 of the busiest months of the year for me). I want to get this ball rolling so that when I'm ready to order my cake, I've tried enough samples to know who I want to do it. Also, how much does a 3 tier cake cost?"

Me:
"Since it is only January 2013, I think you might be a bit premature in coming in for your Consultation. First, it's important to know the date and venue because I'm not able to reserve your wedding cake without a date. Also, it's a little early to design your cake since you haven't made any signficant plans for the wedding yet.

Bride:
Oh, that's okay because I'm not ready to pick you yet. I just want to try all your flavors and get a price because I'm on a strict budget. And, I'd like to bring all my bridesmaides to get their opinions too.

Me:
I'd love to do your wedding cake. I would suggest that once you are further along in the planning process that you give me a call. Happy Wedding Planning and I look forward to hearing from you in the future!


What I'd like to say:

Listen honey, I realize that it is your PRIVILEGE to run all over town and "taste" cake at all the bakeries so that in the end you can chose the poor soul that has the cheapest price because YOU ARE on a strict budget. However, I'm on a strict budget also in running my business and I don't provide "tasting parties" for you and your 5 bridesmaides to enjoy for free so that perhaps when you are ready you WON'T give me the privilege of making your cheap cake because I'm too expensive. Furthermore, I've found that brides who come in excess of a year and a half before their wedding somehow don't end up getting married, well at least to that person on that date.


BAKERY TALES

___________________________

BB's Final Thoughts,

In yo face!! Well said, and a big ole AMEN!! Haha

I'd Like To Order A Cake

This post was sent to me by an Custom Baker in the South - This lady called their bakery and said in a high pitched southern accent...

"So ya'll make cakes right?" (Our company name has the word cake in it...) "What's the smallest cake ya'll do? Like a 22 inch?" I tried to explain, no Ma'am. 22" is almost 2 feet.

_______________________________________

BB's Final Thoughts :

Oh Wow!! Yes, that's the smallest cake they do and it'll cost $2,000 will that be cash or charge?

One At A Time

I'm having this really annoying conversation with the mother of the Bride because I guess it must be too hard for the bride to speak on her own behalf. She writes as her first message...

Do u do consults?

--> uh no, I just show up on your wedding day with a cake I designed for you just based on that previous message... I'm seeing white, 3 tiers, and in my high pitch sorority girl voice "something simple" because that's what every bride wants...

My reply with a little bit of smart ass-ism "Yes I do"

Her: Do you do tastings?

--> Again, that same cake I've made 1000 times... Vanilla, just something plain, a crowd pleaser.

My reply: "Yes I do"

--> I mean why waste both our time by asking one ducking question at a TIME! Why would you just not give me all the ducking information and if its not what you want to hear, move on!!
I hate you and I don't want to do your daughters cake because she's probably just like you and the consult will take hours if I have to wait for you both to ask me any questions.

Don't you wish sometimes when you reply to messages, they could hear how hard you are typing each individual letter out of annoyance and hatred of their stupidity!

Breaking News

(Newscaster voice) This just in, a local baker is in jail for murder. She pleaded guilty to the charges. Apparently, some woman touched her cake to see if it was real.

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH Hell No!!! I'm really not sure if there is anything more infuriating than some dumb ass overgrown child-adult who some how missed their quota of touching things as a child, and is now making up for it as an adult and will now be paying for it... with their life! I cannot tell you how many shows I have attended to promote my business with faux cakes where some idiot was knocking on them, poking them, petting them, or rubbing them. I honestly cannot wrap my mind around the idiocy! Never mind the fact that you are putting your unwashed (had to edit myself)  hands all over my cake and spreading your germs, but think of how you could potential destroy my hours of hard work. Oh, you didn't think of that did you... that's because you are a selfish asshole!

My mom always tells me I have a Billboard Face. A face that can hide no emotion, especially hate! I might have lost a few orders because of it, but at least I spared their lives!


@#$%&@#$#$$%^^&&!@@#$$### Ahhhhhhh!!!!

No Punch Cards

Yes, I would like to order a cake for my daughter's birthday. My husband's birthday is next month, and I have three other daughter's whose birthdays are coming up as well. If I like your cake will you be offering me any discounts for all these orders I will place in the future?

Thanks,
Mrs. Entitlement

______________________________________

Uh, how do I say this without upsetting you....

DUCK IT let me just tell you how it is here... this is my job, this is what I do for a living! So, if you decide to order cakes from me, it because you decide to order a cake from me!! This isn't an ice cream parlor where you get a punch out for every $5 or more you spend. If you are getting a discount it is because I decide I am giving you a discount for your loyalty. You get nothing for thinking you deserve one!

Too Much Info, Yet Not Enough

I am constantly screaming at my computer and phone when I get these emails...

Hey BB,

I am getting married, and I am not really sure what kind of cake I want. I know I want something simple and it needs to serve about 150 people. My fiancé and I met at a coffee shop. I really hate coffee but my friends made me go so I just had to drink hot chocolate. Call me a kid, but I love how they put the whipped cream on top of it with a chocolate drizzle I always add a couple of shakes of cinnamon to mine too... YUMMY! Anyways, he was the one who made my drink and he asked for my number! So, we went on a few dates and we just fell in love and now here we are planning our wedding! So I wanted to know if you were booked in October?

Thanks,
TooMuchInfo McGee

_____________________________

Wow, I couldn't hate you anymore than I do right now! Which ducking day in October! You take the time to write me about your drink preferences but it doesn't occur to you to mention the exact day of your wedding?! I cannot think of anything MORE important than that number when planning a wedding. You know what, nevermind, I'm booked... every ducking day in October! How about you sip on them words and don't forget the cinnamon!!

Dear Bride,

Lovely bride, I understand that you are just so scatterbrained and can't keep anything straight, but this was ridiculous. You asked me to take your insanely narrow and tall cake to the venue 4 hours before the ceremony. No biggie, but you KNEW that you were getting married in the same room as the reception, and were going to do a tear down and setup right afterwards. And the high school kids hired to be waiters for the evening were going to put MY cake in an unrefrigerated store room until then? And carry 5 tiers of tall narrow cake out a couple hours later up and down stairs outside, weaving in and out of people? And when I acted a bit exasperated to your ditzy on site coordinator that I had to return to the studio with your cake to bring it later (sorry, ONLY option, as there was no way this cake would have been ok left in the hands of THAT venue and it's people), please pardon the hell out of me, as I planned to leave town for a MUCH needed mini vacation. But it's ok. I stayed behind to babysit your cake. Cause you're the only freaking person alive and it was your big day.

So, you're welcome for the most beautiful cake that you AND that crappy venue have ever laid eyes on, and you're welcome for me cancelling my weekend trip for you. I assume your thank you note was lost in the mail.

Signed,

The Bothered Baker

__________________

BB's Final Thoughts:

BOOM!! I got nothing... Perfectly said!!

I'll Get Right On That

Wow, it seems like most of us have this problem of our idiot clients waiting until the last ducking minute to order their cakes!

This is from a baker in Arizona...

On Friday at 11am, I received a voicemail from a potential client asking me if I could make a 3D Shark cake by 5pm, with a specific flavor. Ummm, no! How in the heck am I supposed to bake, cool, fill, carve, complete & deliver a cake like that in 6 hours (oh, and still finish and deliver all my other cakes on time). I called her back and told her I would need to have an order like that much earlier. But, maybe we could work together in the future, with more notice.

___________________


BB's Final Thoughts:

I'll get right on that for you... oh, and what time will you be coming by to help me whip this up since you obviously think there is nothing to this whole cake making thing? That's what I thought...

No Monopoly Money Accepted

This Baker emailed me this story telling me that this conversation started Wednesday and has now dragged into today. She usually requires at least a week's notice, but was trying to help this client out...

---------

After discussing his order, I gave him the total of the cake.  His deposit came to $104.33.  His credit card only approved $78, so I tell him...

Me:  Your card only accepted a partial amount.  Will you be using another card for the rest.

Him:  Let me call the bank.  I'm not sure why that is.  I'll check with them because they "do be puttin' limits on me."

Me:  **SIGH** (Don't MOST credit cards come with limits?!)

He calls back and says "I can't pull any more money off the card.  I'm going to call my friend to see if she can come in and put the deposit down for me."

Me:  Make sure you call me back TODAY.  After today, I can't help you.

--

SO, here we go this morning...He calls back trying to order the cake.  Once again, I said I would help him...

Him:  I have my friend who's going to use her card

Me:  Well is she on the line?

Him:  No, I have to call her and I'll call you back

*Slams the phone down*  Why not have her on the line already?  Is it me or is that how things should be handled?!

They now call back.  I run her card and it's declined.  She proceeds to go on about how her cards are never declined and I need to run it again.  Second time, it declines.  So they hang up.  Needless to say, I won't be helping them if they find a card that works.  SMH!
_____________________________________

BB's Final thoughts:

Money, that's what we cake bakers need in order to make your cake! It's crazy I know! I mean gosh why can't we still trade chickens and goats for our services. It's not like we have real jobs, we just sit around and play with flour and sugar and wait until our phone rings 2 days before your party as you express how important it is to have a cake at the event... yet you decided to wait until the last second to order our masterpieces. That's a big ole Duck You!

Intelligent People Only

Am I the only one who can instantly hate someone just from the first couple of lines in their email?

It really annoys me when words are misspelled and sentences aren't complete. I mean do you not proof read your messages! If I was getting married, I wouldn't want my first impression to be like this girl who emailed me...

"Can you make my cake wit dat kinda icin like on them tv shows?"

No, you don't sound dumb at all.

-----

Or my favorite bride who called to change our consult time as I was pulling into the parking space for  2 hours from then, and then once she showed up had a chip on her shoulder because I was annoyed that she moved the time without earlier notice. Then she proceeded to ask me if I could make my cake taste like a "cake."

I'm sorry, what?

"You know, like cake?!"

I'm really sorry I have no idea what you mean.

"You know, like a cake cake... Like from Walmart"

Ohhhh I see, you have a refined palate and only appreciate preservatives, dyes, riboflavin, and cancer causing ingredients. I'm sorry, guess I lost another customer to the famous Walmart "cake cake."

----

Or the woman who writes in all capital letters because she's too lazy to shift from upper to lower case letters.

YES I WOULD LIKE TO ORDER A CUSTOM CAKE FOR MY FRIEND, HER BDAY IS TOMORROW.

Why are you yelling at me bitch?! Go back to grade school and learn how to type!

----

I think I should just hire someone to deal with customers and I'll just work in my cake cave undisturbed!

Celebrities, Eh Who Needs Em'

This story from a baker who is blessed or rather cursed with some celebrity clients...

I've been dealing with this Celebrity client (Ugh. The WORST) who is a repeat customer, which is cool. She's a sweetheart, but this girl never gives me more than 36 hours notice on an order. 

AHHHHH!


AND she texts me constantly.
AND keeps asking me if I can add stuff to the design.
AND keeps changing the delivery time on me.
Good lord, help me, I might just smack her.  Call Perez & TMZ cuz it's about to go down.

__________________________________________

Hahaha love that she's gonna lay the smack down! As I told this baker, I'm from a super small town, and the closest celebrity I have is the winner of the Best Apple Pie contest and she's such a diva...

Bitch Betta Run

Oh fellow bakers, my thermometer was like a degree away from being Bitch Betta Run! After talking with this infuriating mom, we decided on a delivery time of 3:00. Well, at 2:30 she texts me and asks, "Just incase, would 3:30 ok?

Deep Breath... my reply "I really need to know an exact time because I have to bring my 2 young children with me and don't want to be waiting in the car." As if I really need a ducking reason for her to be on time. I'm not gonna wait anywhere for 30 ducking mins because you're not sure if you can make it by 3!

Her reply, "3:30 is fine."

Me: "Ok see you then."

So, I arrive at the agreed location at 3:30 on the ducking dot... 3:45...3:50... Bitch Betta Run

4 mother ducking o'clock

"I'm sorry I'm late."

_______________________

Oh really?! Well, I'm sorry that I took your cake out of my car, gently placed it in the parking lot, and ran over it 12 times... that'll be $214 please... can't forget the tax.

No Money Back Guarantee for Dumb Ass

This is from a Baker in Georgia... 

After all her hard work in decorating her amazing cakes, she has a sign up that basically gives the rules of transporting their custom cake.  

Basic stuff - flat level surface, don't make crazy turns, don't go into a store and let your cake sit in a hot car, don't let the heater blow on it if it's winter time .... common sense stuff. I even reiterate  this before the cake is turned over to their hands, my delivery driver will even reiterate this. But, unfortunately, there are still dumb asses in this world. A pre-madonna lady calls me asking for her money back or at least another cake for FREE. 

ME: "Right, I'll jump right on that for you" 

Pre-madonna: "I knew you wouldn't give me any issues with this..." and she then proceeds to tell me how I am going to fix the situation. All I hear is blah, blah, blah. 

ME: What exactly was wrong with your cake? 

Premadonna: "It was melted! The icing just melted down the sides of the cake!" 

ME: "Ah, I know exactly what happened and I'm sorry but I can't refund you any money. I have clauses in my shop and on my website clearly stating certain happenings can happen with your cake if ......" 

And I proceed to tell her the following story about her and her cake. Mrs. Premadonna comes to pick up her 3 tier Dora cake. Explicit instructions were given on the phone and before she leaves. I carry the cake to her car and I spend 15 minutes of MY TIME trying to get her seats level so the cake doesn't sit on a ducking slope. She leaves like a bat out of hell because it's my fault her seats weren't level and she didn't bring anything to level them out with (even told her on the phone - bring a towel or board if possible) Geez! Being that was the last cake of the day I decide to go to the grocery store. See a familiar little car in the parking lot, walk into the store and there she is. DUCK!!! 25 minutes have passed and I bet that damn cake is sitting in her car and it's 90 degrees outside, so 1,000 degrees in the car. So, I nicely walk past her and say... 

"Oh, hey, had I known you had an errand to run, you could have left the cake at the shop until you were finished" 

She replies, "Oh, no worries, I'm only going to be a few minutes." 

Right, 30 minutes now. So, I grab my items, I walk out and her car is still in the ducking parking lot - 45 mins now. I walk past her car, and see the cake in the front seat out of the box. WTH?! The sun beating down on it, MELTED! RIGHT?! Like I gave her money back, lol. Dumbass!

______________________________________________

I believe dumbass is an understatement! 

Moment of silence for Dora...

OMG It's Your Birthday!

Sooooo I've mentioned this issue I have with a few of my baker friends and they think I'm crazy so feel free to disagree, but I am The Bitchy Baker so don't be surprised.

It makes me sooo annoyed when someone asks me to put Happy Birthday on a cake! I mean why? Why do I need to physically pipe out or worse, cut out each individual letter and then place those maddening 13 letters perfectly straight on your cake. Has anyone been invited to a birthday party and not known that it was a birthday party?

Oh wow, look at that amazing cake... Happy...uh Happy Birthday!! OMG I had no idea it was your birthday! Wow, I thought we were all here to celebrate the number 31! You know like on Seasame Street, the number of the day is 31. Gosh, thanks for clarifying that its your birthday because the invitations, banner, and ad in the local paper with your baby picture wasn't hint enough! Well, I'm embarrassed.

Shit!

You're totally gonna hate putting it on a cake now... Just give into it... Life is good on the dark side

Woooohaahaaaha (evil laugh)

Did you just say Hold?!

Holy Hell! If you want me to hate you before we even discuss your cake, call me and tell me to Hold On!

I just had a lady call ME today to ask ME about ordering a baby shower cake. She then said she needed a cake to serve about 40 people. I just started to say, well you'll probably be ok with a 2 tier ca.... "Hold On BB, I'm getting another call..." Oh hell no! You don't call ME, and ask ME to hold as if my time is not valuable!

________________________

My Thermometer :

- Bitch Betta Run
-
- No She Didn't
-
- Oh Holy Hell
-
- Mad as Hell
-
- Mad
-
- Annoyed

I thought PTA Moms were on top of their Game!

LAST YEAR:

Riiiiiiing!  "Hi, Cake Decorator Mama!  This is Super PTA Mama.  We just LOVED the cake you donated to the teacher appreciation luncheon at school.  We were wondering if you could donate a really cool cake for our Father-Daughter Dance?"

Cake Mama: "Oh, thanks.  I'm glad you enjoyed it.  I'd love to help the PTA if I can.  When is the dance?  I don't have any daughters, so I wasn't paying attention."

Super PTA Mama: "Next Friday." (It's Thursday now, so she means it's in 8 days.)

Cake Mama: "Oh, well. . . um, I'm already nearly entirely booked for that date.  I might could squeeze in some simple cupcakes."

Super PTA Mama: "Oh that would be ok, I suppose. . . I mean, If we can't get a cake."

Cake Mama: "OK, well, how many do you think you'll need?"

Super PTA Mama: "600"

Cake Mama: "600?  You are asking me to donate 600 cupcakes?"

Super PTA Mama: "If you could."

Cake Mama: "I can't.  I just can't.  I could maybe do you a bunch of mini cupcakes.  How about 6 batches?  That's 36 dozen.  That's, let's see, 432 mini cupcakes.  I can do each batch in a different flavor.  Would that work?"

Super PTA Mama: "Well. . . ok, I guess."

Cake Mama: "I mean, you'll need other desserts, but it's a start."

Super PTA Mama: "Alright."

Cake Mama: "Well, next year, contact me about 2-3 months beforehand and I'll see what I can do. I book-up fast, so you'll want to get on the calendar early."

THIS YEAR:

Riiiiiiing!  "Hi, Cake Decorator Mama!  This is Super PTA Mama.  We just LOVED the mini cupcakes you donated last year.  We were wondering if you could donate a really cool cake for our Father-Daughter Dance this year?"

Cake Mama: "When is the dance?  I don't have any daughters."

Super PTA Mama: "It's in 3 weeks.  It's a 50's theme, a sock hop. We need 600 servings."

Cake Mama: "Three weeks?  Um. . . OK, let me see what I can do.  I'll cut you a deal and comp some things.  I'll itemize it, write it up, and email it to you." (I did - A three tier custom cake and 10 supplemental sheet cakes)

CRICKETS, CRICKETS, CRICKETS

Riiiiiiing!  "Hi, Cake Decorator Mama!  We just CAN'T spend $850 on CAKE."

Cake Mama: "You know what.  I think you should call Costco. . . . "

_________________________________

When Cake Mama sent me this email, I had to bend over and pick my eyeballs off the floor! 600 servings!!!! I'm almost speechless... except for a big ole "DUCK YOU! PTA Mama!"

No... don't go ...

They don't call her the Cranky Caker for no reason... am I right!! Ha ha love it!

She had a customer walk into her store on a Friday afternoon after just completing their last cake for the weekend.

Customer: I'd like to order something for my daughter's birthday.

Her: What were you thinking of?

Customer: One Jumbo Cupcake.

Her: When do you need it for?

Customer: Tomorrow.

Her: Sorry. We won't be able to do that for you, but we do have our specialty cupcakes for sale everyday.

Customer: Really, you can't do it!

Her: Sorry.

Customer: Well, you just lost a customer.

_________________________________________________________________

HA! I'm sorry... really... does she expect to be chased after and begged to remain a customer! I might would make her that cupcake, but I would hand her a bill for $50... Uh Yes, this is for the aggravation fee, the cost of mixing an entire recipe of batter for your one measly cupcake, and finally a portion of my power bill for having to turn on my commercial oven for that very same cupcake. But please tell your daughter Happy Birthday!

It's about Quality!!

This post comes from the Cranky Caker (Love that name!)

Customer walks into her cake shop Ohhh-ing and Ahhhh-ing over the delicious looking cupcakes.

Customer: How much are they?

Her: $2.25 each

Customer: WOW! That much for a cupcake?

Her: The cupcake shop down the road starts at $3.50 each.

Customer: Oh yea, I have had theirs. They don't taste good!

DUUUHHHH!

_______________________________________________________________

Soooooo they"ll pay $3.50 for a terrible cupcake, but they question Cranky for her delicious $2.25 cupcakes... duck you and may her door hit you in your cheap ass on your way out!

Baskin Robbins My Ass

One of the most infuriating emails I received was from a bride who must have been an only child. At least that's what I have to keep telling myself to justify her Princess attitude...

We had been emailing back and forth about her wedding and the cake that she wanted. She would ask me these dumb questions and repeat questions I had already answered at least 2x. So, she asked me about scheduling a consult so she could try some of my cakes. I of course agreed but felt queasy because I could tell she was going to be one of those high maintenance brides that was going to cause trouble down the road. Anyways, on the last email she sent me she asked me if I was going to bring samples of ALL of my cakes listed on my website!!!!!!!!

Are you ducking kidding me!! I have like 30 something flavors on my website. Yes, Yes, please allow me to put my life on hold, cancel alllll my other orders, miss my kids T-ball game, spend hundreds of dollars on the ingredients, stay up the entire night to then cut up all the 30 something flavors with their matching fillings, frosting, curds, and swirls... to then present this entire spread to you and your poor fiancé who by the way is doomed.... on a platinum serving tray with enchanted candle sticks, silverware, and teapots singing in the background behind me!

I think I am slowly getting over this... does it sound like it?

You're Joking

One of the biggest times I have been absolutely pissed and angered to the point of murder was when this Bride called me and said...

-- "Yes, I was wondering if I could bake my own cake, and just have you ice and decorate it because I like my cakes the best."

"No, I am sorry I won't do that."

-- "Oh, you won't?"

"No, I'm sorry."

-- "There's no way you'll do that for me?"

"I, uh, ummmm....No"

-- "Oh, ok, are you really sure you can't do that?"
_____________________________________________________________

By the ducking 3rd mother ducking time she asked me... I was about to crawl through the phone, wrap my food colored hands around her cheap neck and tell her where she can shove her "delicious" cake... in her ASS, just so we're clear!

How about $225

Fellow Bakers, you know what customer I am talking about...

Susie,

Ok, for the cake you wanted with the design we discussed it will be $250.

Thanks and I look forward to making your cake,
BB


Dear BB,
 
Ok, everything sounds great, but would you take $225?

Thanks,
Susie

Dear Susie,

It is my goal to always give my customer the best price. I choose to use the finest ingredients and put a lot of time in creating and designing my cakes. This is also how I provide for my family. So, no, the price is $250. If you decide to remove some of the details you wanted to add to the cake, it will lower the price and we might could get it to $225

Thanks,
BB

Dear BB,

That's ok, I'll stick with my design and pay the $250
________________________________________________________________

Who the hell do these people think they are?! This isn't a duckin haggle!! Do you go to your grocery store and when they tell you it's $125 for all the groceries YOU decided to add to your cart, you say no, I'll just pay you $100 thanks!

Duckin Idiots!!! Pay me for my amazing skill and talent... and be glad I even agreed to make your cake because I'm the shit!

Cheap Ass!

This is from a Baker in Georgia, I think we all hate this Bride for her...

Ring Ring...

"Hello this is Anonymous Baker ."

     -"Uh yes, I was just at the Bridal show that you attended and I loved those cakes you had! They were so delicious! I was wondering if I could set up an consult with my mother to try some more of your cakes."

"Yes, I would love to set up and appointment with you to discuss your wedding cake, but there won't be a tasting since you just tasted my cakes yesterday and those would be the same samples I would give you here."

    - "Oh no, I already have someone else making my wedding cake... I just wanted to eat more of your cake."

______________________________________________________________

Yes, everyone in the whole ducking world hates you Bride... Can I get an AMEN!

Come Again, Say What!!

Hey BB,

   I really want to go over the top this year! We've just done store bought cakes in the past, but I saw your website and thought, "I have got to have one of her cakes!"

  Anyways, I want to get a 6 tier cake with a Hollywood theme. I want her name in lights that actually work, I want a bag of popcorn spilling down the cake, I want there to be fireworks exploding out of the back, and Oh my gosh... I want Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio's final scene together, you know when they are on the in the water together...Titanic is her favorite movie... "I'll never let go Jack!" I also want one of those "ACTION" snapper things and I want it to say Take 16, you know, cause it's her 16th birthday (thought of that myself, pretty clever). Anyways, I am on kind of a strict budget so I was wondering how much something like this would be?

Thanks and I look forward to hearing back from you,
Excited Mom

Dear Excited Mom,

   This cake sounds amazing and I would love to do it, but the word budget doesn't really match up with this cake. First of all, a 6 tier cake serves a little more that 300 people and with that design... you are looking at spending about $3,000. But just let me know how many servings you need and maybe we can do some of the elements you want on a slightly smaller scale.

Thanks,
BB


Hey BB,

  I only need servings for 12 people and my budget is $40, what can I get for that?

________________________________________________________________

Bitch you owe me $100 for just reading your emails...Duck You!