You Got Skills But...

So, I'm gonna need you put on your pissed off pants for me before you start reading this! It's so ridiculous that we all just have to start off mad together.

I just received a picture of this message from a fellow BB that was taken through her FB messenger...

Customer: My daughter is turning 17 on Sept 14th and I wanted to order a Samsung Galaxy themed cake, are you available? 

Fellow BB: How many servings?

Customer: 10-15

Fellow BB: Depending on the final level of detail you are looking at at least $75

Customer: Ok. Also, if possible, can you tell me if the cake mix is homemade? Not to take anything away from your skills, you truly have beautiful work. However, I would like for the cake mix to be Duncan Hines (yellow). I can actually purchase how many boxes would be needed if possible.

Fellow BB: I only bake from scratch.

Customer: Ok, I'll let you know.

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BB's Final Thoughts:

Are you ducking kidding me! I personally know this baker and have eaten her cake on several occasions and its "slap yo momma" delicious!! Like sitting on your couch in your granny panties curled up in a blanket watching Steel Magnolia's good! Ok!! So now that I've cleared that up...

If you contact a CUSTOM Caker who has been in business for years and tell her to trade her real butter and delicious, fine ingredients for preservatives and powdery whatever it is... Who can ever open those bags by hand either. I'd like to meet you, those things are impossible to open... Anyways, all that aside to move to the next point... So, if she somehow agreed to make your mix, why would the customer need to purchase the boxes. It's like a dollar a box, does she think that there's an up charge of $5 for a $1 box of cake. My mind is blown in so many ways that I just have no words anymore!!

Oh...ok...oh...

Hcthbvddysgvjxgshfkcjxhsvhzh nxhzgfchzgsAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

My need to release above!!

Anyways, I've actually had a pretty idiot free time lately until my phone rang 2 days ago.

Earlier in the year I made a 6" round cake with a rice cereal sculpted Minnie Mouse that sat/hung off the cake. Very time consuming to say the least. One of those that right in the middle of the 3rd hour of working on it you get mad and say you should have charged more!

Fast forward to 2 days ago... This idiot called me and said "uh, ummm, how much for dat Minnie Mouse topper I want to buy just dat Minnie Mouse."

Me with Hatred and a murderous tone, "I'm sorry, but I won't sell just the Minnie Mouse you would have to order the whole cake."

Her: "oh...umm...ok... How much dat whole cake is?"

Me: "$90+ tax."

Her: "oh.... Ummmm... Ok..... Long silence... *click*

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Son of a Bitch!!! What a ducking idiot!! Yes, I'll sell you the Minnie Mouse topper for you to place on your $20 sheet cake because my time has no value. Why, WHY would she think that I would even do that! DUCK!!! I seriously hate her! $500 is what I charge for the topper... Cash or credit?

I'm A Little Teapot...

This just happened to my mom last night, yes Mother Bitchy Baker... Uh oh!

My phone rang at 11:15 last night and woke me up. Some psycho left me a message that her cake lady reneged on her and wanted me to make her a teapot cake for Saturday!  This bitchy baker will not be calling her back for several reasons!!

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Daughter BB's Final Thoughts:

Don't be calling somebody at all times of the night because you think your sudden lack of a cake is an emergency to all caker's of the world. Like there's some giant red button that we push and we all hop out of the bed, throw on our magical aprons, and meet around a giant round table to discuss your world ending! You just get a big ole' Duck You, you should've called the right baker from the get! 

Bazinga!!