Dear Bride,

Lovely bride, I understand that you are just so scatterbrained and can't keep anything straight, but this was ridiculous. You asked me to take your insanely narrow and tall cake to the venue 4 hours before the ceremony. No biggie, but you KNEW that you were getting married in the same room as the reception, and were going to do a tear down and setup right afterwards. And the high school kids hired to be waiters for the evening were going to put MY cake in an unrefrigerated store room until then? And carry 5 tiers of tall narrow cake out a couple hours later up and down stairs outside, weaving in and out of people? And when I acted a bit exasperated to your ditzy on site coordinator that I had to return to the studio with your cake to bring it later (sorry, ONLY option, as there was no way this cake would have been ok left in the hands of THAT venue and it's people), please pardon the hell out of me, as I planned to leave town for a MUCH needed mini vacation. But it's ok. I stayed behind to babysit your cake. Cause you're the only freaking person alive and it was your big day.

So, you're welcome for the most beautiful cake that you AND that crappy venue have ever laid eyes on, and you're welcome for me cancelling my weekend trip for you. I assume your thank you note was lost in the mail.

Signed,

The Bothered Baker

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BB's Final Thoughts:

BOOM!! I got nothing... Perfectly said!!