Thursday, April 25, 2013

That The Best You Can Do?

Well, wedding season is upon us so my posts have been less frequent, my apologies. BUT, that doesn't mean the idiocy has stopped or the bitchyness has been cured!!

I received a call from a woman asking me to make a simple bridal shower cake for the middle of the week with only 6 days notice. Because it was a slow week, I reluctantly agreed with the words simple, easy cake giving me a little ease. I wait patiently for the email of the oh so simple cake and then when my phone chirped... Oh yes, I usually consider a 4 tier draped wedding cake with piping, pearls and sashes a ducking breeze! What the hell!

Ok... So I write back with... "uh that's a 4 tier wedding cake serving about 130 people and about $800. How many do you need to serve?"

"About 100."

-Seriously y'all, I was like what kind of "Bridal Shower" is this?!

So after more back and forth I still agree to the cake but in a 3 tier version. So I tell her the new price.

Well, then her mom calls me and says..."I heard you're doing a cake for us. I also heard the price and was wondering if you could do better than that?"

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Do I really need to continue this portion of my blogging or do y'all know me enough by now.... Mother ducker!! Are you kidding me! I'm sorry, could you do better than only 6 days notice!!

You know what, I'll let ya'll be creative on this one, what would y'all say if this happened to you?

Monday, April 8, 2013

24 Hour Cakery... Bitch Please!!

Ohhhhhhhh!!!!

*Deep Breath* ... Inhale... Exhale....

It is 10:26pm and this BB is pissed!! I just received this super informative email:

comments= Please give me a call. I
need a wedding.

groom's cake for April
21, 2013. Thanks'!

I just copy and pasted this exactly like it was sent to me, spacing and all! I think she's trying to communicate to me but I'm just not sure.

Ok, I'll let you slide with a deep breath and an eye roll. BUT THEN, bitch gonna send me a duckin text message at 10:20 at night!!! Oh mother ducking hell no!! Bitch I ain't no 24 hour cake business! You just spent all that time, well not a lot of intelligent time, sending me an email and text pleading for me to call your sorry self because for some reason this life changing day of wedded bliss has snuck up on you! Your time is better spent not totally pissing me off with your inconsideration for my personal life and my family outside of my caking. Why it hit you at 10:20 at night and you thought, "shit I gotta handle this right this second" rather than waiting until the ducking next day to pick up your phone and call me! Also, why are you contacting me in every way other than the way you are asking me to contact you!

Ohhhhhh!!!

_________________

The love of a husband is deep I tell you! He has truly seen me at my worst at times dealing with these people. Arms flailing, spilt flying, cussing like a maniac. He just smiles and we say, "The Bitchy Baker is gonna post tonight!" Amen!

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Why I Gotta Pay Before?

Soooooo, this is the first time this has happened to me and I'm pretty sure it won't be the last grrrrr...

I'm meeting for a consult on a wedding that is less than a month away. My contract states that the full amount of the wedding cake must be paid a month before the wedding. This bride had had some bad luck so that's why this is all being planned last minute. I offer her a few more days after our consult to gather the funds for the cake. During the consult, that by the way took way too long being as we had already discussed everything except flavors, her mother in law chimed in as she was reading the contract,

"Hold up, we gotta pay for dis cake BEFORE we see it!"

My extremely shocked and pissed reaction, "Uh yes, how am I to know that you'll even pay me once I've already made your $500 cake?"

Her: "Well how we gonna know we like the cake!!"

...........(long pause to regain composure and violent thoughts)...

______________________

You mother duckin son of a bitch!! What do you mean! You've seen my cakes, you have now tasted my ducking delicious cake, and you gave me a picture of the exact cake you want... What the duck is not to like?! Bitch better back away slowly!

Do you go to the grocery store and say yeah, I really love steak and I've bought your brand before and it was delicious, but this particular steak I haven't eatin it yet so I'm gonna go home and cook it and if I like it, I'll come back and pay for it...

Uh hell no... Bitch betta give me my money now and I'll think about making her cake or not ... seeing as I haven't made that design yet and I may decide that I don't like your ugly cake and THEN I might give you your money back minus an aggravation fee and that's putting it nicely!