No Money Back Guarantee for Dumb Ass

This is from a Baker in Georgia... 

After all her hard work in decorating her amazing cakes, she has a sign up that basically gives the rules of transporting their custom cake.  

Basic stuff - flat level surface, don't make crazy turns, don't go into a store and let your cake sit in a hot car, don't let the heater blow on it if it's winter time .... common sense stuff. I even reiterate  this before the cake is turned over to their hands, my delivery driver will even reiterate this. But, unfortunately, there are still dumb asses in this world. A pre-madonna lady calls me asking for her money back or at least another cake for FREE. 

ME: "Right, I'll jump right on that for you" 

Pre-madonna: "I knew you wouldn't give me any issues with this..." and she then proceeds to tell me how I am going to fix the situation. All I hear is blah, blah, blah. 

ME: What exactly was wrong with your cake? 

Premadonna: "It was melted! The icing just melted down the sides of the cake!" 

ME: "Ah, I know exactly what happened and I'm sorry but I can't refund you any money. I have clauses in my shop and on my website clearly stating certain happenings can happen with your cake if ......" 

And I proceed to tell her the following story about her and her cake. Mrs. Premadonna comes to pick up her 3 tier Dora cake. Explicit instructions were given on the phone and before she leaves. I carry the cake to her car and I spend 15 minutes of MY TIME trying to get her seats level so the cake doesn't sit on a ducking slope. She leaves like a bat out of hell because it's my fault her seats weren't level and she didn't bring anything to level them out with (even told her on the phone - bring a towel or board if possible) Geez! Being that was the last cake of the day I decide to go to the grocery store. See a familiar little car in the parking lot, walk into the store and there she is. DUCK!!! 25 minutes have passed and I bet that damn cake is sitting in her car and it's 90 degrees outside, so 1,000 degrees in the car. So, I nicely walk past her and say... 

"Oh, hey, had I known you had an errand to run, you could have left the cake at the shop until you were finished" 

She replies, "Oh, no worries, I'm only going to be a few minutes." 

Right, 30 minutes now. So, I grab my items, I walk out and her car is still in the ducking parking lot - 45 mins now. I walk past her car, and see the cake in the front seat out of the box. WTH?! The sun beating down on it, MELTED! RIGHT?! Like I gave her money back, lol. Dumbass!

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I believe dumbass is an understatement! 

Moment of silence for Dora...