Wednesday, February 19, 2014

R.I.P

I recently did a consultation for a young couple who decided to bring her parents along. Well, her dad sat right next to me but yet never looked in my direction when he would talk like I didn't exist. So, this is starting off really great! The bride had this *awesome* idea of doing very bright colors for each tier. Hey, I'm all about different until she told me the colors...
Hot Pink
Red
Purple
Yellow 
Orange

Say Whaaaaat!! Do you ever get to point the consultation where you just want to scream STOP, you don't want to do this! Are you sure you want me to create this mass of ugliness and charge you for it! Not only have I been raised that pink and red do NOT go together, but in what planet do all 5 of those colors come together beautifully without it being at an eyesore. We aren't talking a Moroccan wedding cake, just a good ole' southern throw down with pastel mints, punch, and a dish of peanuts... (Southerners get me here). Can I get an Amen Y'all!

Anyways, she then tells me she wants white scroll work on top of it. Oh shit it just got worse... I just can't go any further with this because I feel sorry for her cake. Holding tears back as I write... 

Anyways, I tell them the price and that went over *really well*! I would assume her dad was laughing at me but since he wouldn't acknowledge my existence I'm gonna go with his daughter taste is colors!

THEN, my favorite part... The groom chimes in "shoot, we should just go to the grocery store, buy a couple them cakes and stack'em on top of each other!"

My forehead exploded all over his face and my eyeballs burned into his soul with hate and death! You can find his obituary in the local paper. I'll make sure and send the family a couple of stacked grocery store cakes to the funeral. May he and that poor wedding cake R.I.P.

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