Friday, January 30, 2015

I'm That Big

I hadn't realized that I had gotten so big that I needed a personal assistant.

My phone rang yesterday with what seems to be a very confused girl even though she contacted me. I think one of the most frustrating ways to start a conversation is...

"hi this is the Bitchy Baker"

"yes can I talk to the Bitchy Baker"

(Mother ducker!!!!!! What did I just say!) "hold on one minute while I go get her hello this is the Bitchy Baker"

"Ummm ummm, yea, what kind of business do you have?"

(😳 what the duck?!?!) "I make cakes" *said in the most annoyed, sarcastic voice ever!*

"Ummm Umm Hol' On" 

--the duck she just told me to hold on!! Oh hellllllll no!!! You do not call me and ask me to hold on... Unless you want me to scrape your face off with my palette knife!!!

"HELLLLOOOO!!"

"Oh ummmm, ummm do you have like a store?"

-- by this point it's all I can do not to hang up the phone and punch a hole in my precious pink walls!"

"Yes" I say with a demonic voice

"Ok, ummm I was calling to see if you wanted a personal assistant"

"NO THANKS!"

Hahahahahahaha seriously!! Even if I was in a cake coma and had buttercream coming out of my eyeballs I would never hire you!! You call me you don't listen when I answer the phone, you tell me to hold on, you don't even know what kind of business I have, and you don't even know if I have a shop that I work out of! Why would you want to work for me!!! You know nothing about me, this is completely ridiculous!! I hate you goodbye!