You're Booked?

"Hello, thank you for calling Anonymous Cake Shop, this is BB."

    -"Hello, yes, I would like to order a cake for my son's 1st birthday."

"Ok mam, what kind of cake are you looking for?"

    -"Well...uh... he likes Elmo..."

"Ok, I can definitely do an Elmo cake. How many servings do you need?"

     -"Well lets see, I guess I'll need enough for about 30 people."

"Great, what flavor do you want his cake to be?"

     -"What flavors do you have?"

"There's a full list on my website."

     - "Never mind, I'll just do vanilla."

"Ok, perfect... what's the date of his party so I can go ahead and put you on my calendar?"

   - "Oh, it's tomorrow."

"Uhhhhhh....I'm sorry I'm already booked this weekend and I require at least 2 weeks notice."

    - "Well!!! That's ridiculous! I mean how much time do you need...it's just cake!"
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You know, the funny thing about birthdays is, they are always on the same ducking day bitch!! Amazing how you forget so fast after popping a baby out of your secret place. Thanks for wasting my time... think of me again next year though...

Seriously Bitch?

Wow!! You know that feeling you get when you get a new email from a potential client. You are sooo excited to open that email in the hopes that they want some awesome, off the wall cake. They may rock your world even more with a "Hey, you are the cake genius why don't you just make something amazing for me. You have complete creative freedom." Then, you start to read...

"Um yes, I seen your cakes and they is awesome. I really want somethan custom for my daughter this year. I realy dont want that same old cake from walmart. But I was wondering though, could you make your cake tastes like walmarts do cause them cakes taste good?"

What...huh...shit...seriously?!?! DUCK YOU! She received no response in order to remain a lady.

Misguided

Hey you, whoever told you that asking me to make cupcakes for your child's birthday because that'll be sooo much easier on me, DUCK you!! Yes, making 48 handmade mini nail polishes, lipsticks, purses, and makeup brushes all on a 3" cupcake topper is such a duckin breeze! Thanks for taking that stress of  having to decorate the nice large canvas that is cake and asking me make you ducking cupcakes that have to be 3 different flavors with 4 different icings and you'd like me to put "Happy Super Duper Wonderful We Love You Always and Forever Please Stop Growing Up and Stay a Baby Forever Love, Mom and Dad" on that same 3" topper. Duck You Mommy of the Year!

A Place to Release

Mother DUCKER!!! I hate people! I think we have all had this thought at some point in our careers as bakers. It amazes me that people can be so ignorant and offensive and have no clue. I wanted to start this blog as a way for us to vent and laugh at each others horrible experiences, conversations, and the times we have to bite our tongue when all we really want to do is lash out and bash skulls! Please email me your experiences and I will post your story to my blog for others to laugh with, possibly cry with, and definitely curse with you. I want everyone to be able to express how they truly feel unedited. Let the Bitchyness begin!!