Ring ring ...
Caller: Yea, where are you at I'm trying to find u?
Well, I work by appt only.
Caller: I want to come taste cakes cause I want my baby shower cake.
How many servings?
Caller: 10-15 servings
I'm sorry I only do consults for wedding cakes or orders over $300 as I am a private baker and would never be able to get my orders done if that weren't the case.
Caller: I still wanna come talk to you, give me your address.
You can come by this afternoon at 4 and I'll have to give you directions because GPS will not work.
Caller: Well I'm not good with directions.
Well, if you write them down can you be good with them?
Caller: I'll call u back
WTH!!!!!! Hate her
_______________________________
BB's Final Thoughts,
Being as you believe the world totally revolves around you and your fetus, by all means come and interrupt her day to talk about the smallest cake she probably makes. Which I'm sure you will think is too expensive. So, I went ahead and programmed this GPS with the address to our local Walmart. Best wishes and congrats on the new baby, I hope you can find your way to the hospital!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Monday, March 4, 2013
50/50 Chance
Oh, the infamous billboard face that some might say I was blessed and cursed with...
When I meet my brides for consults, I have a consult sheet that I fill out with all the information of the wedding such as date, venue, style of cake etc as I am sure most of you do. Well, we get down to the flavor portion of what she would like for her cake and her mother said, "You do know that we aren't necessarily going with you!"
Total shut down... get the duck outta my sight bitch, I hate you! Yes, I'm not an idiot. I know that when I meet with my brides, that I might not necessarily be the one that you choose, but to spit that comment at me like that, it's a waste of my time. I'm sorry I am being detail oriented and asking all the questions I need to ask so that when you do decide to book me, I don't have to deal with your dumb ass self again because I will have all the information I need to make your cake. As a matter of fact, you can take your ugly ass cake with no personality, creativity, or vision to the grocery store bakery and enjoy, because I won't necessarily be making your cake!!!
When I meet my brides for consults, I have a consult sheet that I fill out with all the information of the wedding such as date, venue, style of cake etc as I am sure most of you do. Well, we get down to the flavor portion of what she would like for her cake and her mother said, "You do know that we aren't necessarily going with you!"
Total shut down... get the duck outta my sight bitch, I hate you! Yes, I'm not an idiot. I know that when I meet with my brides, that I might not necessarily be the one that you choose, but to spit that comment at me like that, it's a waste of my time. I'm sorry I am being detail oriented and asking all the questions I need to ask so that when you do decide to book me, I don't have to deal with your dumb ass self again because I will have all the information I need to make your cake. As a matter of fact, you can take your ugly ass cake with no personality, creativity, or vision to the grocery store bakery and enjoy, because I won't necessarily be making your cake!!!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
This Isn't the 1920's
My heart hurts for her...
Yesterday
afternoon I get a call from a lady she tells me they are throwing a huge party
for her grandsons 1st birthday. She
will need 12 separate cakes for the event and they will all be 3-D
cakes. And she needs them for March the 9th. Ok, first
off today is Feb. 25th so you are not
even giving me 2 weeks notice and of course I don’t have any other cakes booked
for that week…. NOT! Anyway, I am thinking in my head if I get my daughters
to come help we can pull this off and it will be some good money. So
I tell her to send me pictures of the cakes she has in mind and details of how
many people she needs to serve and I would work up a quote. So she
then tells me that servings are not a factor she just wants it for the WOW
factor and the main cake needs to be the largest the other cakes can be small
just make them as large as you have to, to get them done. So, I get the pictures. The main cake is a 3 tiered circus themed cake with the bottom tier being a bag
of spilt popcorn, the middle being 3 rolls of tickets off set, and finally the
top being a circus tent. The rest of the cakes, well lets just say
were all 3-D sculpted cakes. There was a bobble head cake, a clown sitting
up, a teddy bear sitting up holding a sign that said G Ma’s snuggle bear (how sweet huh!) Let’s see then we have a sports themed one with a basketball, football and a baseball on the top. A 3D # 1 standing up, a
box of animal cookies with very ornate animals coming out of the
box, A very ornate crown with a fur looking trim around
it. A Jordan shoe and shoe box, some baby blocks with the baby’s
name spelled out which is 9 letters by the way, so that is 9 separate
blocks. When I see these first off I am thinking this is going
to be some good money then I am thinking really! She wants all these cakes and
she gives me a week as this week is booked with cakes and I can’t work on
anything this week. Then, I realize this is not 12 cakes so I ask her and
then I find out that she counted the 3 tier as 3 separate cakes… LOL So
last night it took me over an hour to download and decipher all her
notes as to all the changes on each cake because of course none of them are
grand enough for what she wants… This morning, first thing, I start
getting phone calls and text messages asking me if I received the pictures
because she did not get a total yet. I told her no, I was working on
it and I had to go to the hardware store to price a few things for the support
structures. She tells me she wants to get a check out to me today
for the deposit and I told her I would get back to her ASAP with a detailed
quote. She sends me yet another text and tells me to make sure
and add a delivery charge. I ask where it is going to be delivered
she tells me and that’s an added 50.00 for the delivery. Then, I get
a message back from her that says... I don’t want to spend over $135.00.
I
really wanted to respond back to her… B**ch you owe me that much for the time I
spent looking at your damn pictures and answering your damn text
messages. Now I should have asked up front what her budget was but
in my defense someone who wants 10 very detailed and 3D cakes should just know
she is going to spend more that 135 freaking
dollars!!!!!!!!!!!! Average that out DUMB ASS that’s
13.50 a cake…. I hate people that waste my damn time!
Kranky as HELL
Cake Lady
___________________________________________________
BB's Final Thoughts:
Awe Hell! This has to be the most ridiculous story I have heard so far! $13.50 per cake! First off, what kind of deposit did she have in mind for $135 order, $11.50? Plus, was that $135 including the delivery fee? If so, then she was expecting to pay $8.50 for each cake. I honestly am speechless at this point! Except for a duck you and head on back to the 1920's and buy your cakes for a quarter because obviously you are not living in the world today!
Dislike?!
This is from a fellow Bitchy Baker who unfortunately had stay professional throughout this infuriating conversation over email. I can't even wait until the final thought portion of this post to express my feelings on this one...
Client: Do you have a payment plan for your cakes?!
(BB: So, based on your punctuation, this is a rhetorical question?!)
Fellow BB:
Hello,
At the time of order, 50% of your total cost needs to be paid. The other 50% is due when you pick it up. You can make payments however you want after the deposit is paid, as long as the balance is paid in full when you pick it up. For example, if your total is $300, you must pay $150 to order it. The remaining $150 can be paid in increments whenever you want, as long as it's paid in full when you pick it up.
Client: How much do baby shower cakes run?!
(Again, a rhetorical question?! Seriously! How much do baby shower cakes run! Well, lets see... duck you! Really?! <--- Proper usage by the way.
Fellow BB: It depends on your design.
(I like your tone here, I can totally feel it hehe)
Client: Can you help me figure out something different and unique.. I dislike being like other people..
(BB: Oh you dislike being like other people... Now you are being proper?! <-- BOOM! Oh and by the way, let her take the time to hold your hand through this process because she has nothing else to do AND who is to say that you are actually going to really even order from her, but by all means... we dislike to disappoint.
Fellow BB: You will need to call the shop to schedule an appointment for a design consultation. When you come, you need to have an idea of what you're looking for. You can bring photos or other visual aids. Make sure you have a budget set and all the info we'll need to know to create the cake.
Client: Ok how soon do I need to do this?! My baby shower won't be until September but I know for a fact that I want you to do my cake.
(Ohhhhhhh dear! I guess I will have to hold off on that answer until you actually decide to ask me the official question.)
BB's Final Thoughts:
Nothing but pure dislike for you.
Client: Do you have a payment plan for your cakes?!
(BB: So, based on your punctuation, this is a rhetorical question?!)
Fellow BB:
Hello,
At the time of order, 50% of your total cost needs to be paid. The other 50% is due when you pick it up. You can make payments however you want after the deposit is paid, as long as the balance is paid in full when you pick it up. For example, if your total is $300, you must pay $150 to order it. The remaining $150 can be paid in increments whenever you want, as long as it's paid in full when you pick it up.
Client: How much do baby shower cakes run?!
(Again, a rhetorical question?! Seriously! How much do baby shower cakes run! Well, lets see... duck you! Really?! <--- Proper usage by the way.
Fellow BB: It depends on your design.
(I like your tone here, I can totally feel it hehe)
Client: Can you help me figure out something different and unique.. I dislike being like other people..
(BB: Oh you dislike being like other people... Now you are being proper?! <-- BOOM! Oh and by the way, let her take the time to hold your hand through this process because she has nothing else to do AND who is to say that you are actually going to really even order from her, but by all means... we dislike to disappoint.
Fellow BB: You will need to call the shop to schedule an appointment for a design consultation. When you come, you need to have an idea of what you're looking for. You can bring photos or other visual aids. Make sure you have a budget set and all the info we'll need to know to create the cake.
Client: Ok how soon do I need to do this?! My baby shower won't be until September but I know for a fact that I want you to do my cake.
(Ohhhhhhh dear! I guess I will have to hold off on that answer until you actually decide to ask me the official question.)
BB's Final Thoughts:
Nothing but pure dislike for you.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
I'm Getting Married One Day...
DEAR BITCHY BAKER . . .
Bride on the phone:
"Hi. I'm getting married in 2014. I don't have an exact date yet, but I'm thinking September or October (2 of the busiest months of the year for me). I want to get this ball rolling so that when I'm ready to order my cake, I've tried enough samples to know who I want to do it. Also, how much does a 3 tier cake cost?"
Me:
"Since it is only January 2013, I think you might be a bit premature in coming in for your Consultation. First, it's important to know the date and venue because I'm not able to reserve your wedding cake without a date. Also, it's a little early to design your cake since you haven't made any signficant plans for the wedding yet.
Bride:
Oh, that's okay because I'm not ready to pick you yet. I just want to try all your flavors and get a price because I'm on a strict budget. And, I'd like to bring all my bridesmaides to get their opinions too.
Me:
I'd love to do your wedding cake. I would suggest that once you are further along in the planning process that you give me a call. Happy Wedding Planning and I look forward to hearing from you in the future!
What I'd like to say:
Listen honey, I realize that it is your PRIVILEGE to run all over town and "taste" cake at all the bakeries so that in the end you can chose the poor soul that has the cheapest price because YOU ARE on a strict budget. However, I'm on a strict budget also in running my business and I don't provide "tasting parties" for you and your 5 bridesmaides to enjoy for free so that perhaps when you are ready you WON'T give me the privilege of making your cheap cake because I'm too expensive. Furthermore, I've found that brides who come in excess of a year and a half before their wedding somehow don't end up getting married, well at least to that person on that date.
BAKERY TALES
___________________________
BB's Final Thoughts,
In yo face!! Well said, and a big ole AMEN!! Haha
Bride on the phone:
"Hi. I'm getting married in 2014. I don't have an exact date yet, but I'm thinking September or October (2 of the busiest months of the year for me). I want to get this ball rolling so that when I'm ready to order my cake, I've tried enough samples to know who I want to do it. Also, how much does a 3 tier cake cost?"
Me:
"Since it is only January 2013, I think you might be a bit premature in coming in for your Consultation. First, it's important to know the date and venue because I'm not able to reserve your wedding cake without a date. Also, it's a little early to design your cake since you haven't made any signficant plans for the wedding yet.
Bride:
Oh, that's okay because I'm not ready to pick you yet. I just want to try all your flavors and get a price because I'm on a strict budget. And, I'd like to bring all my bridesmaides to get their opinions too.
Me:
I'd love to do your wedding cake. I would suggest that once you are further along in the planning process that you give me a call. Happy Wedding Planning and I look forward to hearing from you in the future!
What I'd like to say:
Listen honey, I realize that it is your PRIVILEGE to run all over town and "taste" cake at all the bakeries so that in the end you can chose the poor soul that has the cheapest price because YOU ARE on a strict budget. However, I'm on a strict budget also in running my business and I don't provide "tasting parties" for you and your 5 bridesmaides to enjoy for free so that perhaps when you are ready you WON'T give me the privilege of making your cheap cake because I'm too expensive. Furthermore, I've found that brides who come in excess of a year and a half before their wedding somehow don't end up getting married, well at least to that person on that date.
BAKERY TALES
___________________________
BB's Final Thoughts,
In yo face!! Well said, and a big ole AMEN!! Haha
Saturday, February 16, 2013
I'd Like To Order A Cake
This post was sent to me by an Custom Baker in the South - This lady called their bakery and said in a high pitched southern accent...
"So ya'll make cakes right?" (Our company name has the word cake in it...) "What's the smallest cake ya'll do? Like a 22 inch?" I tried to explain, no Ma'am. 22" is almost 2 feet.
_______________________________________
BB's Final Thoughts :
Oh Wow!! Yes, that's the smallest cake they do and it'll cost $2,000 will that be cash or charge?
"So ya'll make cakes right?" (Our company name has the word cake in it...) "What's the smallest cake ya'll do? Like a 22 inch?" I tried to explain, no Ma'am. 22" is almost 2 feet.
_______________________________________
BB's Final Thoughts :
Oh Wow!! Yes, that's the smallest cake they do and it'll cost $2,000 will that be cash or charge?
One At A Time
I'm having this really annoying conversation with the mother of the Bride because I guess it must be too hard for the bride to speak on her own behalf. She writes as her first message...
Do u do consults?
--> uh no, I just show up on your wedding day with a cake I designed for you just based on that previous message... I'm seeing white, 3 tiers, and in my high pitch sorority girl voice "something simple" because that's what every bride wants...
My reply with a little bit of smart ass-ism "Yes I do"
Her: Do you do tastings?
--> Again, that same cake I've made 1000 times... Vanilla, just something plain, a crowd pleaser.
My reply: "Yes I do"
--> I mean why waste both our time by asking one ducking question at a TIME! Why would you just not give me all the ducking information and if its not what you want to hear, move on!!
I hate you and I don't want to do your daughters cake because she's probably just like you and the consult will take hours if I have to wait for you both to ask me any questions.
Don't you wish sometimes when you reply to messages, they could hear how hard you are typing each individual letter out of annoyance and hatred of their stupidity!
Do u do consults?
--> uh no, I just show up on your wedding day with a cake I designed for you just based on that previous message... I'm seeing white, 3 tiers, and in my high pitch sorority girl voice "something simple" because that's what every bride wants...
My reply with a little bit of smart ass-ism "Yes I do"
Her: Do you do tastings?
--> Again, that same cake I've made 1000 times... Vanilla, just something plain, a crowd pleaser.
My reply: "Yes I do"
--> I mean why waste both our time by asking one ducking question at a TIME! Why would you just not give me all the ducking information and if its not what you want to hear, move on!!
I hate you and I don't want to do your daughters cake because she's probably just like you and the consult will take hours if I have to wait for you both to ask me any questions.
Don't you wish sometimes when you reply to messages, they could hear how hard you are typing each individual letter out of annoyance and hatred of their stupidity!
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